I like it...

Religious Truths

Taoism:

Shit happens.

Buddhism:

If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

Hinduism:

This shit has happened before.

Islam:

If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Catholicism:

Shit happens because you deserve it.

Protestantism:

Let shit happen to somebody else.

Judaism:

Why does shit always happen to us.